Do we worry too much?

Worry in and of itself can be a crippling condition. One study finds it encourages a negative affect, however the same study finds it can assuage the depression that comes with rumination (1). It would seem we sometimes worry to make ourselves feel better and anecdotally, I believe we can all think of at least one person who would rather you just let them worry. As Christians, we generally take care not to overreach while simultaneously letting the other person know that this is not the way (2). We do this because we have access to something unearthly, ‘not from here’.

But what if you are Christian and you still worry? I’d say this happens a lot more than we like to admit, and that’s if we even realize we do it. Colloquially, I’ve heard it said that Depression comes from worrying about the past and that Anxiety comes from worrying about the future. I’ve told clients in session (whether it’s past or future worry) that whenever they get taken away by their thoughts they can try looking at a clock, preferably with the time & date. This is meant to snap them right back to the present moment, understanding they can’t do anything about the past and that they cannot tell the future, in such a way that worrying about it is pointless.

Take 9.11.01, for example. Up to the early morning, the entirety of NYC, much of the United States and even related parts of the world had specific, anticipated plans that were canceled or significantly augmented in a moment. Then as for the implications throughout the world, much of it changed the way they do business forever. The point being that (as another exercise) we had no idea what our life would look like now five years ago, and we have no idea what it will look like in 5 years from now; the whole world can look different in not very long at all (the contemporary version of this of course, are the resonations of the COVID-19 Pandemic).

This is easier said than done but as I’ve said elsewhere, it’s the difference between easy & simple. That’s where mental health comes in: this, like any other discipline, takes practice; this practice can even be sanctified by 2 Timothy 3:16. The verse states that scripture is good for “…training in righteousness” and the concept is revisited in 1 Corinthians 9:25 “all athletes are disciplined in their training…we do it for an eternal prize”. So if we practice not worrying, we are reaching for something attainable and even Godly.

Let’s look at our intentions

Another thing I’ve found mostly for myself but which I’m happy to share, is that He can bring us to a point where we realize we are doing it on purpose. What works for me when it comes to worry is to understand that the thing I’m worrying about is not what He wants to happen. In other words, that’s not who He is. So if we know that it’s not what He wants to happen then we really are at the point where we are doing it on purpose. To further the idea, you may have heard that it can be offensive to Him to worry. Here is an Earthly demonstration: Imagine you have a dinner date with your spouse or good friend. Now imagine worrying all day about whether or not they will show up or constantly texting them saying something like “are you sure you’re coming?” The person likely will eventually get offended. It’s as if they would say “who or what are you saying I am?”. This is the concept.

This is not to say we can manipulate Him or that we can think ahead of him, but I’d say He commanded us not to worry for the sake of our relationship with Him and to Him as identified Children of God. Sometimes we pray for things that don’t come to pass and that’s okay; He simply knows better. We can always comfort ourselves with the knowledge that He knows what’s best, taking care to remember that He is Good and despises the Evil that befalls us and the Evil we avoided by Him not answering our prayer the way we wished. Of course, it’s important to believe in what you are asking about, so contemplation and preparation before praying (in The Spirit) will go quite a long way. I tend to pray for things that are of The Spirit because I know that my development is far more important than any material thing. I would say this is a good place to start whenever you are lacking, because anything that you aren’t ready for can destroy you or the thing itself through immaturity.

To summarize, do we worry too much? Yes. Can we do anything about it? An astounding Yes! Like all things of The Spirit, it flows from the heart. Where is our heart when we worry? What are we expressing spiritually? I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that we have an enemy who encourages this, here I would say he is just trying to get us to go beyond ourselves which is impossible and can only hurt us. The part about us being children speaks volumes in this matter and should do most of the work in that, though God is invisible we must never think of Him as absentee.

Until next time, take care.

Gregory Longmore, LMHC is an online-only Christian Professional Mental Health therapist based in NYC.

1. Katie A. McLaughlin, Thomas D. Borkovec, Nicholas J. Sibrava, The Effects of Worry and Rumination on Affect States and Cognitive Activity, Behavior Therapy, Volume 38, Issue 1, 2007, Pages 23-38, ISSN 0005-7894, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2006.03.003.
2. KJV Super Giant Print Reference Bible. (Matthew 6:34), 1996, Holman Bible Publishers. Copyright 1996 by Holman Bible Publishers